


Moments of healing (For now)

by Zinae



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And in my head he looks pretty doing so, F/M, Fight me on it, Headcanon that lance can dance and play at least one instrument in this case the violin just because, I am so sorry for my writing skills, I love all of them and I am sorry for the angst... Actually no i am so not sorry, I suffer you suffer, Lance is being depressed and they all need healing, M/M, My OC is my baby and I love her because dammit she is adorable as a mom for all of them, Probably either only implied relationships or so slow burn I have no idea, They are awful but hey, i have no idea how to tag this, maybe more tags to come?, okay, very short chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 12,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinae/pseuds/Zinae
Summary: The first thing Lance realized when waking up was that everything hurt.Like a bitch.The next thing was, that he was alone.The third, that he was in a small room, lying on something resembling a floating bed. His clothes were right beside him, but the clothes he was wearing were comfortable enough, so he didn´t even try to move.His brain felt fuzzy and tired, almost like that one time when he was six and fell off the swing on the playground. The doc had been awful and just pumped him full of painkillers, sending him off with a broken leg. He still remembered the pain and now felt the same. Just with both legs.Where was Blue? Or everyone else for that matter? Why wasn´t he in a Cryo Pod?Memories flashed before his eyes and he groaned quietly.Yeah, portal, being sucked into space, the pain, when he somehow opened his seatbelts and trashed around inside Blue.A small movement somewhere in the back of his mind, far away and just as tired, a kind, comforting nudge, a whisper of a smile an apology.Blue. Lance almost cried in relief.





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing Lance realized when waking up was that everything hurt.

Like a bitch.

The next thing was, that he was alone.

The third, that he was in a small room, lying on something resembling a floating bed. His clothes were right beside him, but the clothes he was wearing were comfortable enough, so he didn´t even try to move.

His brain felt fuzzy and tired, almost like that one time when he was six and fell off the swing on the playground. The doc had been awful and just pumped him full of painkillers, sending him off with a broken leg. He still remembered the pain and now felt the same. Just with both legs.

Where was Blue? Or everyone else for that matter? Why wasn´t he in a Cryo Pod?

Memories flashed before his eyes and he groaned quietly.

Yeah, portal, being sucked into space, the pain, when he somehow opened his seatbelts and trashed around inside Blue.

A small movement somewhere in the back of his mind, far away and just as tired, a kind, comforting nudge, a whisper of a smile an apology.

Blue. Lance almost cried in relief.

He still hurt. And there was this beginning panic attack in that other, darker corner of his mind, the realization _that he could have died_.

The realization had him in a tiny, hurting ball and gasping for breath within seconds.

Fear crept into his mind, a small beast quickly growing into a giant dragon, he felt Blue roar, call for him, but dammit, this was too much, too fast, too soon and heavens,  _how did he survive those last few weeks?_

And then there was the touch. Warm, weird and calm. Weird, because there were about three fingers, he wasn´t quite sure in his panic filled mind…

The pain flared and he gasped, his mind clearing long enough to snap his head around and stare at the alien in front of him.

His first reaction would have been flirting if it wasn´t for that smile.

She was beautiful. In an alien way, but still. All curves and shapes, tiny, round and sweet, her black eyes large and sparkling, her ears pointy and twitching, her hair looked like dreadlocks, long, full, gorgeous and he wondered for a second whether it was as soft as it looked. But in the end it was her smile that had him gasping and sobbing in her arms, praying that everything would be alright, crying out the names of his family, both by blood and those just as lost in space as he was.

She had the smile of his mother.

 


	2. Chapter 2

He found out that her name was Aurora and that she somehow understood everything he said. And he her.

Lots of fumbling with words, guessing and thinking later he figured it had something to do with Blue and left it at it. It wasn´t important. He could talk to this person and that was enough.

Apparently she found him and Blue on her way home. He had been injured – wow, the news… He got painkillers, by the way – and Blue desperate to find someone who could help him. She was the first to find them so the lion pretty much dropped Lance on her and ran off into the forest to hide.

Aurora took him in and he had been out for a week.

And now he was awake, panicking and still a mess. But at least warm. She was cuddly and soft, he just couldn´t help himself.

And kind.

She slowly explained everything to him, that he had broken bones and better not leave the bed for another five weeks, that he could stay for as long as he wanted, that he seriously needed a break and that no one would hurt him. That Blue was safe and came over once in a while to check on him.

He never doubted even one word she said and blamed it all on her smile.

His mothers, sisters, grandmothers smile and he was just as much a sucker for it as he had been with his family.

And it was so easy to make her smile. No stupid jokes, no unnecessary bravado and flirting. He just had to smile himself and take it easy. Then she wouldn´t worry and smile and everything would be alright.

He tried to stand up for the first time a week after he first woke up.

He regretted it the second he was on his legs. For all the five seconds he was up. Then he was back in bed and decided that yes, it still hurt, he was still a mess, but at least the food was good. He had no idea what he was eating but it was great. And Aurora made this stuff, it tasted like cookies. Awesome cookies. Hunk would love her.

Hunk would also love her hugs. Those were great too.

Now he was thinking about Hunk. And then Pidge. Shiro, Allura, Coran, Keith.

The now familiar feeling of panic flared up, together with Blues concern and he pulled that feeling close, took all the comfort and gave back as much as he could. He was not alone in this. Blue was still here. Still that constant presence in the back of his mind, a small humming sound and so full of positive hope that he would get better and that they would save the others and then her home.

As terrifying as it sounded, all this _responsibility_ , it was nice that at least one of them still believed in them.

Because Lance was slowly losing hope.

He felt helpless.

Aurora could take away the edge, the worst, but at night he was still alone and staring into a sky he had no idea about, trying to figure out constellations he did not recognize and looking for a star that may or may not be his own home.

It felt awfully lonely out here and he hated it.

_At least Blue is here with me._

It was the only thing keeping him sane here. Well that and his host. And the thing that looked like gooey pudding and tasted like cookies.


	3. Chapter 3

Apparently Aurora had a sixth sense of when he was having another panic attack. The second he was overwhelmed she was there and her arms around him, warm, dry skin pressing against his cheek, her soft, deep voice a soothing resonance in his body, like a lullaby.

It wasn´t instantly that he calmed down, it was a slow agonizing process and he was grateful for Auroras patience.

Grateful that it was her that found him.

So he soaked up all she gave him and thanked her as often as he could.

On his tenth day he asked her how her day was and welcomed her home with a smile.

He would never forget how she lightened up. And then she started talking, not just with her mouth and voice, more like with her whole body and face, her hands an animated flurry, her face full of emotion and reactions and she smiled the whole time, all the while complaining about prices and stupid vendors and lazy idiots.

He fell in love with her storytelling style. It was full of life and descriptions, full of landscapes and light, full of people in a village.

He could tell that she loved her planet and cherished every moment she spend there.

But all those tales made him miss home even more.

One night he woke up screaming and grabbing onto the first thing he could reach, the remains of the nightmare, a memory of hopelessly floating in space, overlapping with the memory of almost being sucked out into space _without his suit and lion_.

He just grabbed his pillow, buried his face in there and cried.

He never realized that he had been screaming for his friends or that Aurora spend the rest of the night with him, a calm presence in his storm of emotions, a warm hand on his back and a soft, quiet song in his room.

 


	4. Chapter 4

It took him another two weeks until he was able to move out of his bed and onto that floating chair without help and pain. It was still awkward with the bandages, but at least he was able to look around the house now.

Blue cheered him on in the back of his mind when he opened the door.

He froze.

And then Lance laughed for the first time in weeks. Aurora almost dropped the food.

The whole room was cluttered with… stuff. He had no other word for it.

Some things resembling books were stacked on floating chairs, awkwardly pushed and squeezed into shelves, he swore he just saw some kind of clutter coming alive and literally fleeing into a wall and maybe Aurora had a very high obsession with lamps. There were lamps everywhere. Lamps, trash, books. Food in every corner of the room.

He loved it.

Aurora smiled at him and rushed him to a sofa, helping him onto it and smiling at him the whole time.

She quickly checked him over and ran off again.

And Lance just watched what movement he saw of her and the room. Somehow he recognized a few things that reminded him of a witches or shamans equipment, but he didn´t dwell much on it, because some kind of dog-hamster-dragon-thingie just crawled up his leg and gave him one of those puppy dog eyes stare he could not resist. It was adorable.

Precious and he cuddled it carefully, because no matter how tiny and cute, it had claws and teeth.

That was when he saw it.

The creature fell from his arms with an undignified squawk and huffed, running away through the wall, but he barely saw it.

His brain was still trying to process the fact that somehow, in an unexplainable way, there was a violin sitting in a particle barrier in front of him.

“Aurora? May I ask you a question?”

Ste danced over to him and cocked her head to the side, “Yes, of course, child.”

“How did you get the violin?”, he saw no need to beat around the bush and pointed at the instrument, eyes wide and exited, happy even, “I mean, me being here is a one in a million chance, but a human instrument? How?”

She blinked and looked towards the direction he pointed at and raised her nonexistent brows. How she did that he had no idea. But it was cool.

“You mean that old thing? Oh, I found in on a black market once. No one knew what it was, but it came in a set and looked pretty so I bought it.”, a proud grin spread her face, “So it´s called a violin? What does it do?”

And Lance started to talk, explain… fangirl. Living in close quarters with someone as animated as Aurora and being a lively person himself he actually talked with the body he could use and spread his arms, his fingers painting pictures on the wall he never realized he made.

Aurora listened to him with sparkling eyes and a humored smile, then grabbed the violin and thrust it into his hands, “Show me.”

Lance stopped and stared at the instrument. Gulped, then: “I don´t think I can. It´s been years since I last played and this beauty might be broken. I...” Her eyes were so hopeful, so he sighed and smiled, “Okay, I´ll try. But first I´ll check whether I can still use the violin, okay? You´ll hear it anyway.”

Maybe he touched the bow like he would touch a lover, maybe he actually gulped back tears when he put the wood and plastic to his chin and the bow towards the strings.

And maybe he actually cried, once he somehow managed to tune it.

The clear, pure notes fell of the strings like a prayer, his fingers remembering long forgotten positions, his body moving with the slow, calm rhythm.

He had missed this. And the nostalgia crashed into him like a wave, the sadness, the pain, but this time he had a way to express it without breaking, so he did.

Aurora was crying in her kitchen and just let him play. She only came back when the melody ended its suffering and she heard the quiet, broken sobs of a child in need.

So she went to him and hugged him like her life depended on it. And with the way he fell into the hug, grabbed onto her dress and buried his face in the small crook of her neck, all tears and snot and pain, with all this – she knew she did the right thing.

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was his fourth week and he had played the violin one more time. It ended the same way the first time did, Lance in Auroras arms, broken, small and childlike.

She never held it against him, never teased him and just helped as much as she could.

It was nice having someone around. Her job as the town medic had her running around town a lot, but it was mice coming home and being greeted with a smile.

Lance was a good influence in her house, bright and kind, full of jokes and lately laughter. He was getting better, slowly, oh so slowly, but he was getting better.

Of course she knew who he was. The blue lion was a dead giveaway. But she also knew that he was just a child and needed someone to lean on, especially when he had lost the rest of the paladins. So she would help. Her hero complex wouldn´t let her do anything else.

And he was thankful. He even tried helping her once. It ended in a catastrophe, her laughing so much she almost fell down the stairs and Lance blushing so hard that she was almost worried he might explode.

Today he was trying to help her cook. She would not let him anywhere near the stove. That was a rule.

Also no sharp or stabby things anywhere near him, which ended in him telling her stories about his home planet.

He loved talking about rain and wastelands, his old school and his friends. Sometimes he would start talking about his family, but those stories were over quickly, with him suddenly being quiet and withdrawn, playing with his hands until she nudged him to talk about something else. He also often talked about his friends. She liked the princess already and maybe she thought it a little bit suspicious how often he talked about the red paladin and how defensive he was with his feelings for the “stupid mullet”.

Sometimes she caught herself snickering about it and he always looked questioningly at her, one eyebrow up his forehead, the other furrowed, his mouth a thin line.

Then he would shrug and smile again and she would laugh.

The last two weeks would turn into a routine of her working and then taking care of him, loving this closeness and the boy who was chosen to do things he was not ready for.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

When she took off the bandages and told him that he could start trying to walk Lance cheered and instantly tried to stand up.

He fell on his ass a second later, but he laughed and moved his feet, tried standing up again, holding onto the wall and her shoulder, this time far more careful and slow.

At least he learned from his mistakes. She kindly teased him and poked at his ribs, reducing him to a giggling mess on the floor.

Sometimes he really reminded her of her son.

She hadn't heard from him in years, but that was to be expected, considering the way he left.

He had been an adventurer, someone who could never it still and she had always known that her boy would one day leave and never come back.

Lances hands were warm and gentle on her shoulder, his smile proud after a few steps and she was just as proud of him.

Lance started working on Blue the second he could walk long enough to do something productive.

His Beauty was hurt and he had to help her, he just had to repair her and make her good as new again, because she was a part of him and he had to find the others, he just had to.

Aurora was smiling this strange smile whenever he talked about Keith. And maybe he had this stupid crush on hm and maybe he did miss his stupid mullet and maybe he had had too much time to think about feelings and Keith and how much he missed everyone.

He missed Hunks hugs. And his food. He wanted Aurora to meet them, all of them.

He wanted to see her in the kitchen, happily bantering and talking with Hunk, he wanted her to show Pidge her junk and see them nerd out over things no one understood, he wanted her to be as gentle to Keith as she was to him and maybe he wanted Aurora to help heal Shiro, because he needed this so much, maybe more than all of them.

He wanted her to dance with Coran and braid Alluras hair and scold the mice whenever they tried to steal food before dimmer.

He wanted all of this, but Aurora belonged here and he was tearing apart, because she was just like his mother and he would miss her so, so much.

He forced the tears down and started working on painting Blue to get away from those thoughts for a while, her soothing purr in the back of his mind, together with instructions on how to repair her.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Another month disappeared in repair jobs, cleaning out the house and dancing around the leaving issue.

Lance would spend evenings in violet light, caressing the faint scratch marks on the violin and Aurora reading by the window.

His days now belonged to Blue and sometimes cooking with Aurora and the almost desperate tries to avoid certain subjects like Keith, leaving or his issues.

Aurora never bought his “fine”s and he always broke and told her but he still tried.

He was depending too much on her, he knew it, but he didn't want to let go.

It was when he heard another voice in the communication in his helmet, Pidges faint “Anybody? Guys? Anyone there? Please?”, so small and childlike that he was on his legs and writing a note to his friend in no time, rushing out into space without any second thought.

He found Pidge with Green on a meteor close to the planet he had been on, her eyes wide once she recognized him, Green in no state to fly so he pretty much just grabbed the tiny child and dragged them into Blue, Green already on her back and then he was back within a few hours, Aurora standing there with several blankets and somehow Pidge was grabbing onto him and refusing to let go and he understood, because he was just as unwilling.

He and Pidge had never been quite as close as Hunk had been with both of them but right now?

No one really cared.

Pidge was here and he was here and they both needed something to hold on to so they were fine.

Aurora understood this, he knew that and he accepted her blankets and her quiet “It will be alright.”, her gentle hand on his shoulder, her smile and the pretty way her dreadlocks fell into her face.

He could only nod and continue holding his friend.

They never let go for the next few hours, faint sobbing, his clothes wet where their face was, tiny hands almost painful in his skin.

Their hair smelled of months with no baths and he was this close to throwing them into the next tub or shower, but this was far more important so he endured the stench and reveled in the closeness of another human.

Somehow he managed to drag-carry them into the house and onto the couch, Aurora already by his side with bandages and other weird things he still could not remember the names of and carefully prying Pidge away from him.

It took them almost another hour to do so and Pidge refused to let go of Lance's hand. Aurora just smiled her smile at her and patched her up, afterwards leaving to make dimmer and Lance to explain.

He did it without jokes or dumb remarks.

In the end that was the only thing worrying Pigde.

His somewhat broken smile was apparently answer enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow messed up the chapters and the updates XD I am so sorry^^'' I hope I fixed it...


	8. Chapter 8

Pidge was better off than him and out in a few days to help him with Green and Blue. Blue was almost done, he only really had the paint job left so they prioritized Greens recovery.

His friend was almost crying in relief when Green answered their calls, even though the light in their eyes flickered and they were barely able to move.

Blue helped as well as she could, Pidge threw themselves into work and in the end they had Green up and running within a few weeks. Whenever they needed someone strong to help they asked Blue. Except Aurora they didn't quite trust anyone on the planet and Aurora was fine with them hiding away from everyone.

She once told them that she wanted them for herself and them to have a break from expectations and people.

They accepted.

In the end they still tried to figure out how to contact their friends, but that was Pidge's domain and Lance stayed out of it.

He spend far more time in the back, helping with the garden or playing with different melodies on the violin.

They fainted the first time he played and he laughed and teased them for the next weeks about it.

And somehow, with all the banter coming back, he felt this weird almost happy feeling.

He was actually glad he survived, he was actually happy that he was here, in the middle of nowhere, not just grateful. He felt sure and weirdly content.

He was actually able to tell the alien spices apart by now and put on new stickers with “somewhat pepper”, “pretty much sugar”, “don't ask, Spicy stuff borderline almost like home” written on them.

And he knew they sucked but, hey, he understood what he meant and that was all that mattered.

He even figured out how to bake in Auroras kitchen.

With her standing behind him and pretty much praying for his safety bit he figured out how to replace eggs, sugar, flour. And how to work the oven.

That was fun.

We better not talk about it.

 


	9. Chapter 9

The next Paladin they found was Shiro.

It was approximately three in the morning and Pidge was screaming in his ear, begging him to hurry and clutching her helmet, with somewhat broken, trembling breathing barely reaching his ears.

They woke their host, she promised to have something to eat and bandages ready in time and then they were in their lions and off.

He was constantly talking to his friend, both of them, keeping Shiro awake with stupid innuendos and Pidge sane with dumb stories and calm plans for the next few weeks. He barely gave them time to think about the situation, instead busying their head with plans, blueprints and ideas.

Maybe Pidge would never thank him, but he heard the grateful tone whenever they whispered their answers into their helmets.

They spend the better part of the day looking for Shiro, looking for some sign that was not “Rocks, guys. Sorry, I have no idea where I am” but somehow Blue and Green connected to Black and the at least found the lion one tiny wormhole jump away.

Pidge was furious.

Lance was worried and they both stared at Shiro, who looked like he had been hit by a bus, ran over by elephants and later electrocuted over a volcano.

Multiple times.

Black looked unfazed, a little bit scratched up, but whole, in no way broken, so at least that was good news.

They decided to put Shiro with Pidge, who flew calmer than Lance and just kind of dragged Black behind them.

Lance was trying to joke that they would soon be invading Auroras garden if they kept dragging the lions there and Pidge pretty much had to tell him to shut up and stop acting like he was fine, because by now they knew him too well.

They even had the same look on their face as Aurora whenever he mentioned Keith.

Shiro lost consciousness somewhere around the time they were at Pigdes meteor and they stayed quiet to let him sleep.

They missed the cryopods.

But they both had trust in their host and Pidge actually whispered that she was good for all of them.

Lance wholeheartedly agreed.

They had to wait for several days for Shiro to wake up and both of them barely slept, always by the black Paladins side.

After the second day Aurora pretty much dragged them outside, threw them on the couch and promised that she would sedate them if they didn't sleep right that second.

Lance was woken afterwards at least four times that he remembered by a sharp elbow in his stomach, a knee to his groin or his friends dumb, hard head in his throat.

He had enough by the sixth time that he didn't remember bu Aurora watched and just rearranged them until he had Pidge spooned against his chest, himself curled around her small form.

Later he would wake up to empty arms and hear whispering in the kitchen and a small worried voice and a kind, quiet song.

He would not listen in because he knew by now that everyone had secrets and this was not his talk with their alien-mom, so he stayed out of it.

But he also realized that he had somehow put Pidge on the same step as his siblings at home, above himself and above even his parents.

It had to be the cuddling.

Never the boning moments.

Never the banter.

Nope.

It totally had been all of it.

He wanted cuddles now.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

The next Paladin the saw again was Keith.

And Lance had to bodily restrain himself so that he didn't run and freaking tackle the guy to the ground and kiss him silly.

Pidge's stupid grin didn't help at all, nor did their stabbing their elbow into his side.

He just glared at them until they ran back into the house to look after Shiro.

Then he glared at the red Paladin, who looked different.

First of all, that was neither Red behind him nor was he wearing the armor of the paladins. Neither was Lance but yeah.

The clothes were dark, clinging to his skin and the stupid mullet had grown out and was now pulled back into a tiny, precious, bouncy ponytail.

Lance hated Keiths stupid perfect hair because it actually did what it was told to.

Pidge thought his locks were hilarious.

He cursed his spanish ancestors and their fucked up genetics.

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Lance literally decided that he had lost it, because that was a smile on Keiths face, an actual smile and fuck, he was beautiful.

And then they were hugging.

Just like with Pidge, who by now was out and well and pretty much glued themselves to the boys, they grabbed onto each other and sure as hell did not let go.

Aurora was watching from her window, Shiro by her side and holding onto her shoulder and squeezing.

She just smiled at him and patted his hand, promising him that Pidge would find a way to restore his missing prosthetic.

But back to the children.

Who were still hugging, Lance was totally crying into Keiths shoulder, Pidge was bawling, Keith was still smiling, but not letting go at all.

Yes, he looked different, maybe weirdly healthy and okay and in one piece and the clothes reminded them of the galran armor but not and his eyes were pretty and Lance _still_ wanted to kiss him but okay.

They could wait for answers.

Right now they needed this moment.

“Hey, I'm gonna remember this one. You cradled me in your arms, okay?”

Lance laughed as Keith sputtered and pretty much bit his arm and buried his face in Lance's neck, Pidge was still crying but also howling with laughter and teasing them and that was okay.

For now they were okay.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Aurora was positively glowing because she had so many people in her house. She could cook for them, scold Lance like a mother would, smile at Pidge and act like she was spoiling the little person.

Shiro was watching the three of them, their interactions, how Pidge literally revolved around Lance and how the blue Paladin pretty much treated them like a little sibling worth cherishing and protecting.

He also noticed the way Aurora smiled at all of them, sad and happy at the same time, proud even and he really didn't want to take her somewhat children away from her.

Their eyes met and the old alien lady shook her head and her turned towards Keith who seemed to be somewhat comfortable sitting there and watching Lance.

“How have you been?”, his voice was almost inaudible, rough from not using it in a long time and Keiths eyes, so very violet and blue at the same time, were staring at him.

“Fine, I guess. I have a lot to tell everyone but yeah, most of it is pretty weird and fucked up so...”, at least Keiths interactions with him hadn't changed. Lance hat matured.

Pidge too.

Keith was still holding on to him.

“You know, you can tell us everything over dinner, child.”, Aurora smiled at him and he just stared at her, “So you are the aloof and angry one Lance is always talking about.”

Shiro laughed.

Lance literally blushed and Pidge almost dropped the salad.

Rufus, as they had named the pet of the house, was hiding somewhere again and since Lance never saw it anyway he just ignored its existence until it came out. And changed the name every other day, just to annoy the other occupants of the house.

Pidge had spent several hours looking for it and had some kind of friendship going on, so once they were seated they suddenly had the tiny dragon-hamster-dog thingie sitting by their side and looking up.

Lance was the one who sneaked it food under the table.

The food was great, they quietly explained how everyone landed at the house of a somehow shaman-medic in the middle of nowhere until Keith cleared his throat and just shut up again.

Aurora just handed him a cookie and something resembling pink hot chocolate.

He just stared at the liquid and didn't touch it until he saw one tiny paw trying to steal his food.

It was gone in no time and he actually calmed down.

“When we were separated I was just... thrown out there. I couldn't reach anyone, not Shiro, not the castle, nothing.”, his voice was quiet, his hands gripped the table Lance had thrown together from some garbage and metal plates he had found lying around, “I don't know how long I was out there, where I was, there was just space and Red. That's all. Well... until they found me.”

Lance literally flinched at the mention of space. Auroras hand grabbed his arm, Shiro barely spared him a glance and Pidge was too fascinated with Keiths story to notice.

Keith himself noticed and almost asked but in the end? He didn't.

“Their name is the Blade of Marmora and they are galran rebels. I don't know why they decided to trust me, but they did and they took me in. I was fine, exhausted but fine. I stayed exhausted for the next few weeks, they started training me, even though I just wanted to run out there and look for you. They had good arguments. I stayed. That is, until they heard about Shiro and The castle of Lions wormholing from one end of the galaxy to the other. There are rumors that Voltron was destroyed and I finally convinced them to let me go. And here you are. I kinda found you. Red is still safe with the Blade.”

“You trust them? The Galra?”, Lance's voice was as cold as his element and just as sharp, “After everything you jut _trust_ them?”

“Yes. They saved my life and maybe I left the screaming, fighting and the mass of watching I had to endure to earn their trust but yes, I trust them. Not all Galra are happy with Zarkon. Also... Nevermind.”, Keith turned his face away.

Lance was on his feet and out the door in no time, Auroras worried eyes following him.

Shiro was about to follow, but Pidge stopped him, “Wait. He just needs time to think.”

Aurora left to tidy up, “there goes all the progress...”, Shiro was dragged off to rest and in the end it was only Pidge and Keith left.

“I believe you.”, Pidge whispered, “I believe in you. But if they betray you, your trust, I will burn them.”

Their eyes were cool, but kind, “And Lance too. But right now? He is upset. He was worried sick about us, he was alone for a long time and there is only so much she”, a nod towards the kitchen, “can do... She is helping... but we still need the whole team... An maybe Lance needs us the most. And we him. I never said this by the way. His head is big enough as it is.”

“What happened?”

“I don't know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea what I'm doing by the way. I'm just writing and writing and hoping that I'm not making them too out of character? But yeah. It's depressing and I wanted to make them suffer for a little bit.  
> Sorry for the awful grammar XD If you find mistakes? tell me XD  
> And yeah. Again, so sorry for destroying them... not. Only the ooc parts.   
> I will go with as much canon as I can work with (that was probably wrong :P). I started this months ago and pretty much found it hidden in the deepest parts of my computer, somewhere around last week and just... decided to share.  
> Meh.  
> Anni


	12. Chapter 12

Lance had never seen actual water on this planet. Or rain.

So when he felt drops on his cheeks he almost rubbed his eyes to get rid of tears. Until the drops fell on his forehead, his handy, his arms.

He looked up, head snapping back so fast he almost snapped his neck and stared at the purple clouds and probably purple water.

No smell, strange sweetish taste, but it felt like water.

Maybe this was the first honest smile in days, but he couldn't help himself.

There was no Keith here, nothing to measure up to, because heaven that hurt, seeing him. No matter how glad he was.

Seeing Keith always hurt.

He was better, smarter, faster, a better pilot, a better Paladin.

Lance felt that pressure he remembered from childhood, whenever his siblings and him brought back their report cards from school. His sisters were straight A students, while he was more or less average. Their mother had been proud either way, but the girls always got more praise, more attention.

Then his other siblings were born, his elder sister left for college, then his brother and suddenly they were the only people his parents ever talked about or how fast the little ones learned or how good his smallest sibling was in soccer. They were small things, but sometimes, living in this big family, his grandmother screaming in the living room, his aunts and uncles over almost every day, he felt forgotten.

He loved them to death, every single one of them, but sometimes he wished there were less of them. Less noise, less screaming, less fighting for attention.

The Garisson was better. Not by much, but better. He met Hunk, then Pidge, he found his place in the rivalry with Keith. And lost it again the second Keith left. He lost his confidence in the simulations, in the grades and the painful words of their teacher. Everything cut deep and everything hurt.

This hurt the most, this constant finding and losing. He was scared.

He could admit this at least to himself.

He was scared of Keith.

He was scared of being overlooked in their group, of being useless and cast aside. So he flirted and laughed, he joked and jumped around, he fought for every little bit of attention he got and he lived for the moments everyone's eyes were on him.

The rain was soothing on his eyes and he just realized that he was crying.

Someone took his hand, tiny, but wide, three fingers.

He grabbed onto Auroras small, soft form, buried his face in her hair and forced himself to breathe. She had seen worse.

She had seen him at his worst so he had nothing to hide from her.

And for now that had to be enough.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Shiro healed fast and Pidge's work on the arm was going well, considering that they had to smuggle material from god knows where.

Most of the stuff they could find in the house, hidden in between books and plates full of cookies.

The rainy season started and suddenly there were five people confined to a tiny house with even less space.

Pidge moved out into Green. Keith slept on the sofa and no one ever saw Lance sleep.

Shiro was still confined to the room to rest as much as possible.

Soon there was nothing to talk about except robotics or Galra.

Lance got over Keiths revelation. At least he seemed to be okay with it, but sometimes there were suspicious glances, quiet moments.

He never initiated an argument.

And of course Keith noticed.

And of course he never mentioned it.

And of course things got very awkward very fast.

But no one dared to address the very bug, very pink and very clumsy elephant in the room.

Lance continued his routine, slowly gravitating away from the team.

Shiro and Keith started training the second Shiro was allowed outside.

Lance watched them one and never again.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

It was Pidge, who was fed up with his antics in the end and started to look for their blue friend.

Cursing the whole time.

They found him in the rain, a good way away from the house, huddled into a ball underneath a blanket.

“You're worrying Aurora, you know?”

They sat down beside him and suddenly there was a corner of the blanket around them, a dark arm around their shoulders.

“I know. I'm sorry.”, his voice was different when quiet. Deeper, a lot less annoying, very nice, if the green paladin was honest.

“And Shiro is worried as well.”

“Wow, he actually cares.”, there was bitterness. Maybe just a little bit, hidden away in the blank look and the sad eyes, but there.

“What do you mean?”

“It was fine, when _he_ wasn't here. You guys were okay. Shiro was asleep most of the time, okay, but you were awesome. Now I barely see you and whenever I see you, you are ether busy or just not... here. And Shiro always had only eyes for Keith. Not in that way. He just always listens to Keith. Or Allura for that matter. You guys act like I'm stupid. I know I'm no Hunk, nor you, nor a perfect warrior like the other two. I'm not a princess with fancy powers but I'm still... here. I just want to be seen. I have to fight for every bit of recognition.”

“Why didn't you say something? I can't read minds, Lance. I am good, but not this good. And I never thought that you saw it this way...”

“You are happier like this. I didn't want to worry you.”, Lance sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. It had gotten even longer now and he had started cutting it with a knife, because he didn't trust anyone with scissors anywhere near his hair. It looked ridiculous.

Now it was plastered in half curls onto his forehead and the nape of his neck, wet from the rain, “I'm scared. I'm overthinking a lot of stuff. Losing my bond with you guys, losing in general. What if we can't beat Zarkon? What if we never see Earth ever again? Look at us, Pidge. We are broken. I can barely function. My self confidence is so fake, I'm surprised Hunk didn't catch on. You are missing your family and obsessing over finding them. Shiro has PTSD and fight me on it he is lying as much as 'Iam about being fine and Keith is an antisocial dork we need to protect from himself. He is reckless, too smart for his own good, but so very reckless and ready to walk over corpses if we let him. And this will destroy us. Hunk is pretty normal, but I'm sure, even he has something going on. Allura lost her whole race. Coran too. I'm scared that this is our biggest weakness. It's so easy to break minds. And I am scared that the Galra will find this out and use it against us.”

“You don't trust them.”

“I trust Keith. You are not allowed to tell him, but I trust his judgment. He is suspicious as quiznak and I am sure he almost killed all of them before he gave them a chance, but they earned his trust.”, dark eyes searched the horizon, “We should go back. I was looking for the lake Aurora told me about but it looks like I'll have to look another time... It's getting dark.”

Pidge grabbed his arm and leaned into his touch, “Wait... a little bit more? We're having a bonding moment here.”

They smiled at him and his face softened, a faint, serene smile appearing.

Lance was beautiful when he smiled, but those real smiles were rare now, especially with him disappearing.

They stayed like that for a while, huddled together, bonding over fears, Pidge confessing that they were scared that they would not be able to finish Shiros arm. Or the fear hat they would not be able to locate the castle of lions or Hunk. That they would never find their family. That they would never see earth again.

Lance listened, he was rubbish at giving advice, always trolling them and trying to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but this time he just listened and held their hand.

They had to hold onto something out here, considering they had only their small group of friends left.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Aurora announced one day that if they ever decided to leave, she was coming with them.

No one questioned it.

That night Shiro and Keith woke up from Lance screaming bloody murder and trashing in his makeshift bed, crying and calling for them, reaching out and grasping at air.

Keith was just standing there and staring, weapon in hand because he actually thought that they were being attacked, but this? He had never seen his friend like this.

He had time to blink and then there were tiny, strong hands pushing him aside, dreadlocks rushing past him an a tiny form enveloping his friend, Lance's sobbing quieter, but much more devastating, because now he was _begging_ for them not to leave, not to die.

Shiro was right behind him, staring, Pidge in the doorway, eyes tired and sad.

“Another one, huh...”

They left to make tea while Aurora tried to calm Lance down.

Keith remembered similar dreams, a similar situation with the Blade of Marmora, a soldier hugging him, warmth and kindness he didn't understand.

He wanted to reach out and do the same to Lance, but he was frozen.

But how did someone do that? He was not used to being close to someone outside training. Shiro was like a big brother, he was used to Shiro, but Lance was different with his stupid cocky grin, even worse jokes and obnoxious comments. He had changed here, yes, but sometimes that persona reappeared and disappeared again with him.

Keith had learned to deal with loud and weird Lance. But this Lance was broken and too quiet and weird in a different way.

He hated not being able to do anything, so he stayed there and watched Aurora, how she caressed Lance's face and smoothed out the wrinkles, how she sang, how she held him close and let him cry, wiping away his tears.

Shiro grabbed his shoulder and he send him a look screaming for help but they were still standing there when Pidge returned with the tea like stuff and put everything down on the makeshift table.

“It will take a while, stop staring and sit down.”, they murmured.

Both men obeyed and sat down.

All of them tried to ignore the new elephant in the room, waiting for Lance to either calm down or wake up.

Pidge talked about the arm and the last missing pieces, Keith listened to them, glad that they somehow managed to be louder that the sobs still catching him off guard every time he heard them.

Shiro was holding onto his glass and quiet, eyes haunted and tired.

They were all tired, exhausted even.

Later, when Lance was back asleep and so much calmer, Keith carried him to bed, Shiro send Aurora off to bed as well, Pidge left and Shiro took the couch.

Keith never left Lance's side, spending the night awake at his side, staring at his face and only running outside once the sun had risen and it was time for his training.

 


	16. Chapter 16

No one dared to mention the nightmare, but Lance knew anyway that they had seen it and sheepishly apologized the next morning at breakfast.

Aurora send him a glare over her plate and Shiro shot him another concerned look.

Keith never met his eyes and Pidge was outside anyway.

Once they were done with dishes, Shiro just... touched Lance's arm and then hugged him close, his one arm warm and soothing.

Lance tensed up.

“I'm so sorry I never noticed, Lance.”

“Don't. Just... Don't. I'm fine. Great even!”, the blue Paladin smiled up at him, but this time Shiro knew it was fake and just kept hugging him.

Slowly he loosened up, thin, but muscular arms held onto the taller man and he let out a shaky breath.

“I have to be okay Shiro. We all have. We can freak out, when this is all over.”

“No, we can't, Lance. And please remember that we are all here for each other. We won't leave you alone.”

“Not now, Shiro. Please.”

Lance left before Shiro could answer. He rushed past Pidge and Keith, out into the fields, looking for Blue. He found her soon, or she found him, he never knew and he hid away in the cockpit, talking to her and listening to her humming and the gears turning inside her.

He fell asleep to her lullaby and awoke in a strange situation, meaning four gigantic, mechanic lions somehow cuddling in a pile. Black was perched atop all of them, apparently keeping watch, he heard Pidge tinkering inside Green, silently cursing. Blue and Green were curled around each other, tails entwined, Greens head atop Blues.

Keith was talking to Shiro, voices too hushed to understand a word.

He was too sluggish and tired to care anyway.

And Aurora was sitting beside him and caressing his hair, smiling at him and humming. Her song and Blues purring fit together and he cuddled close to her.

He had wanted this, but now he wanted her for himself.

And right now they were somewhat alone.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Keith was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, playing with the bells hanging down from the ceiling.

“Why are they here?”

“I like the sound.”, Aurora smiled at him, “Come in. Would you like some tea, sweetie?”

She had a nickname for everyone of them.

Keith was “sweetie”, Lance “child”, Pidge “darling”, Shiro “big guy”.

They were all joking what Hunks name would be but that was another name no one mentioned because they had no idea where to start the search.

Keith was working on his pod so that he could go back to the Blade and get Red back. But right now? He needed someone to talk to and Aurora seemed like a person who would not judge.

“Do you...have a moment?”

“Sweetie, I have many moments. Sit down, breathe.”

He obeyed without question.

Her smile was still kind and soft, she patted his head and put a cup of that weird pink chocolate in front of him.

He had no idea where to start.

Aurora sat down with him, her tea in front of her, a strange purplish color, “Start whenever you like. We have time.”

Keith sighed, his hands tense around his mug, “How bad is Zarkon's influence around here?”

“We barely notice it. This planet has always been peaceful and not very keen on warfare. There are no weapons here. And we rarely trade with outsiders. So the Galra leave us pretty much alone most of the time. Sometimes they come here to get herbs for the druids but that's all.”

“Are they treating you okay?”

“Better than most I suppose. We don't give them much reason to be cruel.”

“I... see...”

“But our life here is not important right now. You are stalling, sweetie. Sort your thoughts. Calm down.”

“I may have a secret and I may have no idea how to tell the others.”

“Is it your crush on Lance?”

Keith was about to drink his chocolate and almost choked, “What? No! What crush?! I don't have a crush!”

She smiled.

He scowled, “Okay, maybe a small one but that's not it. I may have found out about some ancestors of mine. And it's complicated. And I'm scared that the others will hate me for it.”

“Galra?”

“How...?”

“It is the only thing the others may not accept. They are your enemies after all. I guess this Blade of Marmora helped you find out?”, she was looking at him, eyes still kind and gentle, “You know you should tell the others. I don't think that it will change anything.”

“Lance blew up last time.”

“Lance has been through a lot, just like all of you. And I think this is something less important to him than you trusting people who are of the same race as the people you are fighting. He might actually joke about this.”

Keith didn't want Lance to joke about his galran blood, but okay. That would be better than him hating him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

Keith was mentally counting seconds, thinking about Auroras words, his fears, the nightmare he had witnessed, how much they all had changed.

He noticed Shiro coming in, noticed a big, warm hand on his head and his tight smile.

His own smile was just as broken, but it was still better than the glowing, fake bullshit Lance was giving them nowadays.

Shiro turned to their host, “Would you like some help with dinner? Pidge told me to test this out and tell them if I'm having problems.” He waved with his new robotic hand.

Aurora literally squealed and hugged him. It was a funny picture, she was half his size and Shiro looked perplexed, awkwardly patting her back and sending Keith questioning glances. Or calls for help. Either way, Keith left laughing quietly to himself and almost tripped over the pet.

Rufus had taken a liking to him, after several bites and lots of bribery.

He scratched the little beast behind its scaly ears and looked out the window.

Lance was sleeping right beside Blue, Pidge was running around and gathering the spare parts they had scattered everywhere and sometimes looking at Lance, almost as if making sure that he was really sleeping.

Maybe they were waiting for a nightmare.

Keith really wanted to finish that talk with Aurora.

There were still things he didn't understand abut himself and somehow talking to her helped clear things up in his mind.

Lance stirred and curled into a ball.

Keith was pretty much staring.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Pidge often talked about their family.

About tiny quirks of their brother, the long rants about space their father could start and never finish. The way the kitchen smelled every morning when their mother made breakfast.

Lance also had a lot to tell about family. How annoyingly adorable his tiny siblings were, how plain annoying his elder siblings were, the expectations of his parents and his mothers open acceptance.

How he missed her hugs and her smile, her scolding and her warmth.

One night he woke up, unfocused eyes glancing towards Pidge, who was shaking his shoulder. He just lift his blanket and they crawled underneath and then they would swap small stories.

Matt was a sleeptalker.

Lance' youngest sister once put dead frogs under his pillow.

Matt was a monster in the morning until he got his third cup of almost acidic coffee.

Lance' elder brother tried making lunch once and it ended with renovations and a lifelong ban from the kitchen for all children. Maybe they may have gone too far with the food fight.

Totally worth it.

The stories were small but happy, some about Christmas, summers spend on a beach or on vacation, some about stupid things children did or even more stupid things adults could get up to...

Sometimes Lance would love to erase the memory of his father trying to make a costume for Halloween. He set fire to the shed and later tried to blame it on the kids next door.

His mother had destroyed him.

It was clear to anyone listening how much Lance loved and missed his old home. How much he adored the beach and the sand, the heat even.

Pidge liked listening to him when he was whispering, they liked his way of forging stories from memories and words and the way he captured details.

Those were nice nights.

Those were good nights.

Those were nights spend in silence, acting like they were home.

Those were nights spending dreading the morning, because then this illusion was nice and they didn't want it to end.

 


	19. Chapter 19

The day Keith and Aurora witnessed another nightmare they were surprised that it was not Lance.

It was Shiro.

He never slept very well, thrashing around until he found a comfortable position, but this time, he started almost fighting in his sleep.

Lance awoke shortly after Keith got slapped in his face with a metal arm. He took a look at the situation, sat down on the floor and just... stayed there.

“There is nothing we can do right now except talk to him. Maybe he'll recognize us, maybe not.”, he shrugged and dragged the blanket higher around his bony shoulders.

Of course Keith had noticed that Lance was getting thinner but he seemed to eat okay. Probably the stress and the dreams. And the sword of Damocles hanging above their heads.

Lance started babbling to Shiro, voice barely a whisper, never meeting Keith's eyes, telling stories about people none of them knew. Sometimes there was a story about the Garisson and Hunk, about night flights and stars.

Or water.

Lance talked a lot about water.

He didn't remember sitting down, but when Shiro finally calmed down and opened his eyes, staring at the blue paladin and smiling gratefully, Keith was sitting on the bed, right beside him.

It was a peaceful moment, with the usual air of awkwardness and weird tension, but peaceful.

Lance's legs were asleep, he himself was wide awake and laughing when he fell on his nose trying to stand up. Keith helped him up, also smiling and chuckling, two idiots trying their best and somehow this was completely fine. It was late, they were tired, Shiro was better, they were having fun and all rivalry, all the cursing and teasing aside, they were still children and they were still friends.

Lance smiled up at Keith, Keith smiled back and they were okay.

For now.

Shiro refused to tell them about his nightmare.

 


	20. Chapter 20

After this it got easier talking to each other. The tension, the issues were still there, but they were in the back of their minds.

They still had to find Hunk and the castle and Pidge was about to tear their hair out in frustration.

Keith left for a few days and came back with Red.

They had never seen Blue happier, running around their mechanic friend and pawing at her. Red snapped playfully at Blues legs, Green pounced into the pile and maybe Shiro saw Black facepalm, but that could have been a hallucination.

The other thing Keith came back with was a galran rebel going by the name of Ulaz, who literally let out a relieved breath the second he saw Shiro.

Shiro just stared at him and sighed.

“I guess I owe you a big thank you for helping me.”

Somehow Pidge was glad that Lance was gone with Aurora, helping her gather herbs in the forest.

They probably could grab the tension with their Bayard.

Keith was watching the lions and ignoring the adults of the group.

Shiro was asking questions about the Blade of Marmorra, how many they were, if they had heard about the castle of lions, what exactly had happened back then.

They decided to explain the situation later, when everyone was home.

Aurora and Lance came back much later, arms full of weirdly shaped grass and purple flowers.

Lance was smiling all over the place, hair wet and sticking to his forehead, grinning down at the tiny alien woman, who was laughing at something he said.

When they noticed Red and Blue, Lance almost glowed, happy and laughing, running to the lions and pushing the plants into Keith's arms.

“Guys!!!”

It took them another two hours to get Lance out of the pile of giant, mechanic, very heavy lions. He was laughing, face red, darker than normal. They were all glad that the lions had been careful, or else Lance might have been their pancake for dinner.

Shiro smiled, Ulaz lifted an eyebrow and Pidge was hiding behind Green.

That was, until Lance saw Ulaz and his smile fell.

“Guys? What is a Galra doing here and why is he still alive or free?”

 


	21. Chapter 21

They explained.

Keith explained even more, Lance stared and in the end they all watched Lance drag Shiro outside.

“Do you trust him?”

Lance's eyes were as cold as his element, he was trembling, arms wrapped around his own shoulders.

Shiro just nodded, “He saved my life and Keith is vouching for him.”

“Okay. Okay... I don't trust him, but I trust you. Just... How will you explain this to Allura and Coran?”

“They will have to deal with this. They are our only allies for now. Maybe they could get to know them? I...”, Shiros voice was uncertain.

Lance stared at him and sighed, “As I said, okay. We... We will find a way. We have managed to survive until now so... This will work out.”

His voice broke a little and this one time he let the weakness win. His head fell against Shiros shoulder, “Please... never disappear again. We need you. And if you get killed or something... We will fall apart, Keith, Pidge, me too. I don't trust him, maybe I never will, but... You do. And please don't let him betray you. I don't know what I will do to him if he hurts you. Any of you. This is his chance. He better not waste it.”

His smile was as fake as his jokes and then Lance was off running towards Blue and Shiro went back to the group.

“Well... That went better than I thought. He... Accepted this. I think.”

Ulaz lifted an eyebrow and Shiro shrugged.

Keith was watching his friend from the window and even from that distance he saw how tense Lance was, how his steps weren't as fluent and elegant as usual.

He wanted to go out there and just... hug Lance.

Wow, that was new.

 


	22. Chapter 22

The need to touch Keith was sometimes too strong to bear.

Lance liked touch. He staked his claim on people by touching.

He hugged Aurora daily. She always laughed and ruffled his hair.

He may or may not snuggle with Pidge, sometimes they wrestled, most times he touched them whenever he walked past them.

Shiro was somewhat difficult, but by now he hugged even that man randomly during the day.

Missing Hunk hurt, missing their cuddles hurt. Dipping Allura, high fiving Coran, poking the mice.

He never touched Keith though. Well, except for training, but that didn't count.

And it was a challenge.

Lance liked touching.

And he really, really wanted to hug Keith... sometimes.

This was one of those moments.

He found his rival by his lake, a tiny ball of dark hair and black clothes.

It was a very awkward moment of Lance opening and closing his mouth, dripping after swimming in the lake for what felt like an eternity, and Keith watching him from behind his hair.

In the end Keith threw a towel at him and resumed his position, staring at the water and ignoring the boy beside him.

Lance just... stared at him for a while.

And then fell down on the grass, all long limbs and kind smile.

“You know, I was always jealous of you.”

Maybe he was surprised himself that he said that little bomb out loud.

Keith's head snapped towards him so fast, it just had to hurt, but apparently he was too surprised to care.

“Yeah. You were the best fighter pilot, great grades, you were always true to yourself and so much better than me. By the way, you ever tell the others I said that and I will deny everything...”, arm over his eyes, Lance couldn't see the reactions.

He couldn't see the wide eyes, or the fierce blush or the way Keith didn't know where to look and just continued staring at his face, he couldn't see the frown and how Keith first opened his mouth to object and then closed it again, just listening.

“I wanted your attention. So I just declared you my rival. I put you on this pedestal, you and Shiro both and I worked my ass of to get close to you. I was never enough. I worked my ass of and I just barely made it. And it took you to leave to get into your class. First I was happy, I mean, I was fighter class, I could fly, do and see so much more than in cargo... I found Hunk, met Pidge, but you weren't there. One of my main motivations was gone, the teachers were assholes, I was slowly losing it. And then there you were. We wanted to save Shiro and then there it was, your stupid mullet, your stupid face. And now, after going through hell, meeting aliens, fighting for our lives, actually saving a planet and fighting with you, side by side... I'm still jealous. I still feel not good enough.”

“That's not true... Why are you telling me all this?”

Lance gave him a wry smile, “Because I really need to get this off my chest. Pidge may have found the castle and I want this talk over before we have to start fighting again. Also, I wanna know what happened to you and I just... want to understand you. I want you and Shiro on my grounds, I want to be your equal. We are a team, as dumb as that sounds with me in the picture, and I just... want to find my place here. Tell anyone and I will deny everything.”

“You have a place here.”, Keith's voice was quiet, “You are part of the team. You... I am impulsive, self-destructive. Yes, I am capable of quick thinking, I can protect you guys, I will do anything I can to finish this mess, but you have something I don't. You have compassion and understanding. You have all this charisma. Whenever you walk into a room, all eyes are on you, you are so good at demanding attention, you wrap everyone around your little finger. We may roll or eyes at your flirting and dumb jokes... But they help. You lighten up our mood, you... We are a good team. You are a great asset, just... I suck at talking about feelings.”

Keith pushed his hair out of his eyes, “this is so out of character for me, but you started and I might just as well finish. You are great. Good even. Your heart is so very big, I don't understand how you do it. You just adopted Pidge as your sibling, Hunk and you are so close, we have to tear you apart with a crowbar, you accepted Allura and Coran with no prejudice and even Ulaz. You don't trust him, I can see that, but you are giving him a chance. I'm just scared that you will hate me for... that.”

This time he gave in. Keith was so tiny in his arms, or maybe they were just too long, but he fit there. His face found itself in dark hair, their shoulders pressed together, Keith was frozen on the spot, Lance just enjoyed the contact, “Whatever it is, I think we can work it out. We are talking about things better left unsaid here, so just.. out with it. I can deal with it, whatever it is.”

“I am part Galra.”

“....Okay. I didn't expect that. Do you have a fluffy form or will you stay like that? Would this make your human parent a furry? Wait, I bet you're adorable with all the purple fluff. How did you find out?”

“You don't mind?”

“Of course I mind! You are part Galra! How could you be born like this!”, Lance screamed and then just pulled a face, “Keith, really, I am shallow, but not that shallow. It's not your fault who your parents are. Answer my questions, I am curious.”

Keith snorted and buried his face in Lane's shoulder, “Are you telling me that I pretty much wasted my time thinking that you would hate me? I don't even remember the first question, so no way in hell.”

“Awwwww, damn. And yes, pretty much.”, the brown haired boy hugged his comrade closer. He was touching Keith and it was awesome, so he would sure as hell not let go. They were having the ultimate bonding moment here and no one would know.

There.

“Sometimes I really hate you...”, Keith grumbled and grabbed the towel, ruffling Lance's hair and grinning at him when the other yelped and let go.

Hours later Shiro found the boys sound asleep on the grass, Keith just as wet as Lance and in a bundle of limbs.

He really regretted not having a camera.

Both boys were smiling.

 


	23. Chapter 23

Pidge really found the castle.

Or the castle found all of them.

Hunk was bear hugging them within moments and Aurora was watching them from her window, Ulaz behind her, shifting uncomfortably.

“They will accept. It's not like they have a chance, young rebel.”, she whispered, teary eyed when Lance and Keith were swept off their feet and pressed to the half giant teenager.

Those two seemed closer lately, sharing dumb smiles whenever they thought no one was looking. They still argued, they were still competitive, but there was no bite to it anymore.

No hatred, no blood, no real insults.

Mostly teasing and late night whispers.

Lance was losing his inhibitions with the group, even more than before and hugging everyone at random intervals throughout the day.

Pidge was regularly picked up and whirled around.

Just like Allura was now the second the blue paladin saw her.

Everyone noticed Keith's bitter face, for the second it was there.

No one dared to comment.

Aurora went packing until Lance dragged her out to meet everyone, Ulaz an uncomfortable figure at the edge, Allura ignoring his presence. And judging from Keith's now visibly dark eyes and how no one seemed to know what to do, they told her about the young man. Hunks mouth was opening and closing.

“Sooo, do you turn purple?”

Lance snorted and threw his arm around Keith's shoulder, “I asked him the same question! But he didn't answer.” A pout and Hunk was grinning weakly, Pidge was cuddling Coran, until they saw Aurora standing there.

No one had ever seen Coran blush. She barely reached his waist, tiny and curvy and their now awesome mother-grandmother-whatever, because suddenly Pidge was introducing her to everyone.

Alluras face melted into a gorgeous smile, Coran was shaking her hand and they were grinning at the alien.

Aurora just lifted an eyebrow and forced a smile. They were nice enough but in those few minutes something had happened. Keith was upset and Pidge had told her that Lance tended to swoon and act ridiculous around Allura, but he wasn't now. Right now he had taken Keith aside and was talking to him, Shiros hand on his arm and eyes mad and furious whenever he looked at the princess.

She would have to talk to them later.

Packing took up most of the day. Pidge refused to leave their projects behind, Lance searched the whole house and garden for everything they might need, actually threw a fit when he could not find the violin. He had not played ever since Pidge had arrived, but in the castle he might find a soundproof room and use that.

Shiro was the easiest. He just took Auroras things and helped her settle in.

Later she would look for the kitchen and help the yellow paladin with cooking, maybe get to know him a little bit.

Now she really had to have a talk with the boys.

Once Lance got back from fussing all over the place and Keith reappeared from the training deck.

Nothing went according to plan by the way.

Ulaz was most unwelcome according to Allura, Shiro spend another few hours talking her into actually giving him and the galran rebels a chance and dinner was tense. Lance disappeared afterwards without a word.

Pulled her away into a corner and just held onto her until he stopped shaking.

She just hugged him close, arms barely reaching around his back.

There was no crying, no screaming or cursing, he just shook and held onto her for dear life.

“It will be alright, sweetie. We will figure this out.”, she had no idea when they actually sat down and how Kith managed to curl up in her lap, but his hair was adorable. All scruffy and rebellious and she understood why that style was the only one that worked for Keith. Maybe they could let it grow out and he might wear it in a ponytail? She would make him try it sometime.

“I know... It's just... hard.”, the dark haired boy mumbled into her skirt and she smiled.

“Well we could start by standing up and moving the cuddling somewhere warmer. We are in a hallway after all.”

 


	24. Chapter 24

They had no idea how, but somehow they all ended up in another pile one night.

Okay, it started with Pidge knocking on Lance' door in the middle of the night, puffy eyed and tired, but scared and sad.

Lance just pulled them into the kitchen, made them hot chocolate and sat with them until Pidge felt better.

They still curled up on the couch, Lance pulled Pidge on top of him and buried his face in their hair.

They left the lights on so it wasn't strange that Hunk was really confused when he went to get a midnight snack and found them like this. He made one, two comments about cute fluffballs and how he missed cookies and their evenings in the Garisson, but afterwards Lance just cradled a gigantic cat into his side.

It was terrifying how small Hunk could get.

Sometime around four in the morning Keith and Shiro found their way into the pile and the group awoke with various limbs in various places they did not belong. For example- Keith and Lance couldn't look at each other for the next few days without blushing, thinking of how right their clasped hands felt and that Keith really didn't mind Lance's hand on his behind.

By the way, just for comedy relief: Pidge almost kicked two of Shiros teeth out and Hunk was a cuddler. Pidge almost suffocated in his chest.

It was the first time in ages that Shiro overslept and that there were no nightmares.

Lance felt right at home.

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY OMG.  
> Real life happened and i lost all my motivation and then I forgot and I just...  
> I have no excuse for this.   
> I might anbandon this story until I know where I wanna ago with this because it just started as something therapeutical and then escalated... and yeah.   
> I'll try not to disappear again x.x  
> Still sorry.

In the end it was Shiro, who found out about the violin.  
After he finally got over the shock that Lance was up before all of them.   
And heavens, this was a sight to see.  
They knew his serene face but at that moment?   
He was nothing short of beautiful.   
Lance's posture was straight and proud, the violin more an extension of his arm than anything and a gentle, sad smile on his face.   
It felt... powerful.   
Somehow almost dubstep, fitting for Lance and his inability to sit still and be in everyone's face, jerky and fast and every beat another step echoing in the training chamber.   
Shiro had to admit, the acoustics were great.  
And somehow the instrument fit Lance.  
“Shiro? Whats going on?”, the black Paladin almost attacked Pidge for talking so loud and kept his hand on their mouth until they calmed down and looked at where he was gesturing.  
Pidge just blinked and shrugged.  
“A fuw fat.”  
“What?”  
“I knew that. He always looked at that thing like it was holy or something. We never talked about it. It just... didn't feel right? But yeah. I knew that. Aurora actually heard him play at some point. She said it was tragic. And... Well, I agree. This should be a happy song but he looks so sad.”  
Shiro carefully closed the door and shooed all the kids away, dragging Hunk and Keith with him when they arrived.  
They went to breakfast and when Lance came in and sat down beside Keith, with all eyes on him?  
He stayed quiet.   
And just maybe he barely lifted his eyes when there was suddenly a calloused hand in his and Keith's shoulder pressed into his skin.  
It might have helped.


End file.
